


I'm Already Saved

by thisisapaige



Series: Thisisapaige's Suptober20 Collection [21]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: (I think so anyway), (So are Dean and Sam btw), Angst, Castiel Makes a Deal with The Shadow (Supernatural), Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Coda, Episode: s13e04 The Big Empty, Episode: s15e15 Gimme Shelter, Ficlet, Hopeful Ending, Lines used from, M/M, One Shot, Suptober 2020 (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:07:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27142216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisisapaige/pseuds/thisisapaige
Summary: (For Suptober20. Day 21 Prompt: Fear)⁂The shadows followed [Castiel] everywhere. The dark emptiness was a part of him now. The shadows writhed within him, waiting, waiting, waiting.They would have to wait a while yet."Something I should know?" Dean's eyes shifted back and forth, back and forth, rapid, worried. Always worried. "Cas, what are you talking about?"
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Thisisapaige's Suptober20 Collection [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1950343
Comments: 6
Kudos: 77





	I'm Already Saved

The shadows grew longer, sinewy shapes that stretched, shuddered, shivered, wherever Castiel stepped. The shadows were watching, waiting, wondering when Castiel would slip, when Castiel would forget.

He had come close a few times: times when Jack smiled at him, times when Dean sat with him, times when Sam seemed at peace. But the shadows were always there, always slithering in the back of Castiel's mind.

And sometimes--

_Yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?_

_It's not your choice._

\--Castiel need not worry. 

The shadows followed him everywhere. The dark emptiness was a part of him now. The shadows writhed within him, waiting, waiting, waiting. 

They would have to wait a while yet.

"Something I should know?" Dean's eyes shifted back and forth, back and forth, rapid, worried. Always worried. "Cas, what are you talking about?"

"It…" The words were caught in his throat, stuck, frozen, because, one said aloud they would be real. "It's Jack." 

Castiel told him. The shadows settled in Dean's eyes, waiting, waiting, waiting.

Considering the circumstances, Castiel believed they would fade. How could he be happy in a time like this?

"No, no, no," Dean said, each repetition a different emotion, a different reaction, "no. Not again. Deals never work out. Where does he learn this stuff?"

Castiel looked down at his shoes, huffing out a puff of air. It was not amusement, exactly, but it was something like it.

"From us," Castiel said.

Dean made his own sound of not quite amusement, higher, louder. "So. Another way, huh?"

“Yes,” Castiel said, “there has to be something. There has--”

The shadows shook in laughter, waiting, waiting, waiting. Eager. 

Castiel knew what he had to do. He turned away from Dean, ready to leave, ready to do what he must, when he was stopped by a hand grabbing his coat sleeve. It would take little effort to free himself from that hand but Castiel stopped. Waited.

“You know I’m not letting you leave,” Dean said, “until you promise me you're coming back. None of that ‘if’ crap.”

The hand was still on Castiel’s coat, the fingers curling around his wrist, digging into the material, tightening around the flesh. “I will do what I must.”

“Nuh-uh.” The hand squeezed. “Nope. I let you walk away before. Not this time.”

Castiel shut his eyes. Behind them, the shadows stilled, waiting, waiting, waiting.

“Dean, he--” Castiel opened his eyes, seeing his shadows reflected in Dean. “He’s my son.”

_Oh, save it._

Dean clenched his jaw then swallowed. “Our son, Cas.” Dean moved forward, taking Castiel’s other wrist in his free hand. “Ours.”

_I have tiptoed through all your little tulips._

“Then you understand why I have to save him,” Castiel said.

_Your memories, your little feelings, yes._

Licking his lips, Dean nodded.

_I know what you hate._

“I have to try,” Castiel said, “I have to leave.”

_I know who you love._

Dean took a step forward, then another, until they were in each other’s space, watching the shadows dance behind each other's eyes.

_What you fear._

“Stay safe,” Castiel said, “I need you safe. I need you all safe.”

_There is nothing for you back there._

“Make sure you come back,” Dean whispered.

Dean ran his hands up Castiel’s arms. Dean brushed the back of his hands across Castiel’s cheeks before resting his palms over Castiel’s chest. Castiel wondered if Dean could feel the rapid beat of his heart, the way it fluttered at the touch. 

The shadows lay flat.

Castiel was waiting, waiting, waiting. 

Dean leaned forward, touching Castiel’s forehead with his own. “Come back to me.”

They pressed their lips together, gentle, soft and sweet, like they had done it many times before. Perhaps they had, in all ways but the physical. 

Dean let Castiel go. Castiel left but knew that there was somewhere-- someone-- to which he would return.

Castiel closed the bunker door behind him, determined, ready, willing, to find another way. The shadows slithered behind him, subdued. When he closed his eyes and faced the shadows, he remembered one thing, one very important thing he said once before. 

_I’m already saved._

**Author's Note:**

> In case you forgot, the lines toward the end in italics are from the Empty's speech to Castiel in 13x04. The final line is Cas's response. So, there's hope. I, uh, hope. :)  
> [Say hello to me on Tumblr!](https://thisisapaige.tumblr.com/)


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